HAIR OF THE DOG: THURSTQUEEN SPILLS THE TEA ON HANGOVERS AND SHARES WHAT YOU NEED TO DO WHEN YOU GET ONE
We’ve all been there after a night of overindulging. The nausea, sensitivity to light, dizziness — let’s just be real Thurstqueen, hangovers aren’t fun.
Before we get into depth on what causes hangovers, it's important to understand that hangovers are our body’s way of telling us that we overdid it.
If you find yourself drinking heavily and experiencing hangovers on the reg, I suggest taking a moment and evaluating your relationship with alcohol. Consider getting some help in the form of counseling or therapy, and see if something deeper is going on. I cannot even BEGIN to emphasize how important this is.
I’m going to get off my soapbox now, and explain what hangovers are and their causes. So let’s get cracking then.
BUT, LIKE WHAT ACTUALLY IS A HANGOVER THO?
A hangover is literally your body’s response to withdrawing from alcohol. Full stop. Yeah, this is some serious shit, okay? Sure hangovers are unpleasant, and it’s easy to make fun of people who have them. Hell, Todd Phillips made a funny movie about them, but the reality is your body is literally screaming at you, “I hate you, you psychotic b**ch!” as the alcohol leaves your system.
Hangovers comprise a series of unpleasant symptoms, ranging from shaking, dizziness, headaches, nausea and other gastric symptoms, depression, anxiety, confusion, and even hypothermia. If shit gets that serious, get a friend to take you to a hospital - stat. Then stop reading this blog, I implore you, because you have yourself some bigger binge drinking issues at hand.
But for folks who have experienced an unpleasant hangover after one night of overindulgence, besides wondering, “Dear god, why me?” and “Can someone kill me now?” You’re probably wondering, “What the hell caused this, besides me doing too many tequila shots at Jumbo’s Clownroom last night?”
There are two major chemicals in alcohol that cause hangovers - acetaldehyde and formaldehyde. Acetaldehyde gets excreted from the body after it is converted to acetic acid in the liver. During this conversion process is when you start to experience those unpleasant hangover symptoms. But the real kicker is when methanol - a highly toxic chemical - gets metabolized and turns into formaldehyde before you pee it out of your system (or sometimes, well… you know.)
We all know that alcohol has ethanol and methanol. But your body has an easier time processing ethanol than methanol. Methanol is what is called a congener - a compound other than alcohol. Alcohols with higher concentrations of congeners - like tequila and whiskey - are said to cause worse hangovers than vodka and gin. You pair spirits with higher concentrations of congeners, dehydration (alcohol is a diuretic after all) and what do you get? The mother of all hangovers.
So how do I prevent a hangover?
If you really want to prevent hangovers - don’t drink. Or imbibe in moderation. Every body is different, and some folks can only handle one drink before feeling alcohol’s effects. Listen to your body, don’t push your limits and remember to drink a glass of water for every alcoholic beverage you consume.
One thing to do the night before that I’ve found helps is drink a large bottle of sparkling water and take a preemptive Excedrin. The carbonation in the water can help sooth an upset stomach.
I overdid it last night and have a hangover — what do I do?
Besides longing for Death’s sweet embrace, very little can really be done once you have a hangover.
With all that in mind, if you wake up with a hangover be sure to stay hydrated. Eat plenty of carbohydrate-rich foods that are super bland and simple, like toast and crackers. And be sure to get plenty of sleep.
Does the whole “hair of the dog” thing actually work though?
When I used to work as a liquor rep, I’d see this a lot. And the truth is - no, drinking alcohol to cure your hangover doesn’t work. At all. It just throws your body into a destructive cycle which leads to dependency. I do not recommend drinking more once you have a hangover. The best thing to do is just tough it out and not overdo it again.
So that’s it then. The best defense against hangovers is, well, not drinking that much. Seems simple enough, amirite?