ATTENTION ANY AND ALL CLASSY HEAUXS: THURSTQUEEN SHARES 3 BUBBLES FOR BETCHES ON A BUDGET FROM TRADER JOE'S FOR A DECADENT AF NYE
New Year’s Eve is nigh, Thurstqueens. But let’s be real — do we REALLY want to spend 50+ dollars on a bottle of Champers? Like seriously, what’s the point anyway? If you’re looking to save big this year, yet still feel like a classy ass bitch while you get your drink on, check out these 3 budget-friendly bubbles from your neighborhood Trader Joe’s to add a little sparkle to your night.
So get your mushroom and truffle flatbread pizza, and speculoos cookies and let’s goooooo!
FOR U FRANCOPHILES — LA BURGONDIE CRÉMANT DE BOURGOGNE $10.99
As someone who spent the majority of my 20s being shaped by the Wine Industry, I learned several “hacks,” if you will. One of the biggest wine drinking “hacks,” was hitting up Crémants instead of Champagne from those big commercial houses that you find in the grocery store. You know… the ones with the yellow labels made that used to be made by badass widows but are now owned by designer purse companies, or the ones that rhyme with Pom Merignon? Anyway — a lot of those big houses in Champagne tend to cost around $50.00 for their entry-level cuvées, and I’m sorry, but in terms of price to quality ratio…. Well…. In my opinion it just doesn’t cut it.
A lot of folks tell me that they don’t like Champagne and that’s probably because they haven’t had good Champagne — which in the US usually costs an arm and a leg. It’s unfortunate that a lot of the bigger houses have the majority of the market share here, not giving a lot of visibility to great quality growers who don’t cut corners and produce quality juice, but unfortunately, that’s how the cookie crumbles.
Anyway, if you wanna game the system yet still drink sparkling wines that have that “Champagney-ness” from bigger stores, hit up Crémants. Crémants are essentially made the exact way as Champagne - both with a primary fermentation and secondary fermentation that occurs in bottle. The only major differences are that they don’t come from Champagne, they come from other places in France like the Loire Valley, Alsace, the Côtes du Jura and Burgundy. Crémants also have different grapes instead of the usual culprits in Champagne (Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Meunier.) With Crémants, you may see grapes like Gamay, Pinot Blanc or Aligoté added to the blend.
ENTER THIS BAD BOI —
This cute little Crémant has all that yeasty, toasty, Champagn-y goodness yet is super fresh. There’s loads of orchard fruit vibes - like pears and Meyer lemons. At a cool eleven bucks, it’s a great value so you can spend your money on caviahhh (should you choose to go that route.)
FOR DAY DRINKING & COCKTAIL MIXING — M. CHEVALLIER CARTE NOIRE BRUT CAVA $6.99
Out of all the bubblies I chose from Trader Joe’s, this one is the freshest of the bunch. Prosecco fans who love that almondy, creamy goodness without the structured intensity some Champagnes have - which people either love or hate - will absolutely love this wine.
Interestingly enough, this Cava is done in the classical method, just like the Crémant listed above. I always look for bottles that are done in this way whenever I’m looking for a sparkling wine, and you can too. Just check the label to see if the words, “Méthode Traditionnelle” are listed on the label (it’s a major selling point so it usually is.)
Cavas are typically made with grapes indigenous to Spain - meaning Xarel-lo, Macabeo and Parellada. Is this the most complicated wine of the bunch? No. Is this the most mixer friendly? Yes. Is this the most refreshing and day-drinking friendly? Absolutely. When I tasted this one, I couldn’t help but think of these four words “New Years Day Brunch.”
FOR REBELS & SPICY FOOD FIENDS (ALSO MY PERSONAL FAVORITE) SCHLOSS BIEBRICH TROCKEN SEKT $5.99
If you’re curious about what Sekt is, it’s Germany’s answer to sparkling wine. And out of all the wines here, this is the most food friendly of the bunch. If you are a Riesling fan and a spicy food fan - like me - you will probably love this wine. I would not consider this wine dry, I would consider it slightly off-dry so if you have issues with a bit of sweetness in your wine I would steer clear. But that’s totally fine, more for me, I’ll have this with Korean BBQ tacos or gluten free Jalapeño poppers (if such a thing exists) and be a very happy camper.
A lot of people in the good ole US of A have issues with slightly sweet wines, and there’s this weird stigma that sweet wines are cheap and of bad quality. Now sure, this wine is the cheapest of the lineup, but I don’t really think its budget-friendly price point reflects the quality of this wine by any means.
Interestingly enough, some of the most expensive wines like sauternes happen to be sweet, and are incredibly food friendly. So I would encourage you to open your mind, and consider pairing this wine with something spicy from Trader Joe’s. Maybe their Thai Spicy Shrimp Fried rice?
Anyway, for me this wine is incredibly bright, like a little laser beam. I get loads of lime flesh immediately, that give away to river stones, with a touch of vanilla buttercream. The sweetness isn’t too pronounced to me because the acidity is so pronounced. Consider it no more sweet than some dry Rieslings - but if you’re sensitive to sweetness, I would suggest hitting up that first Crémant or the Cava instead. Another great thing about this bubbly is that it clocks in at a cool 11% ABV, which means — you can drink more of it.
Well there you have it, Thurstqueens! Three budget-friendly bubbly wines to close out 2022 from your friendly neighborhood Trader Joe’s. Celebrate safely, and be sure to hit me up if you gave them a try!