HAPPY WHATEVER: THURSTQUEEN SHARES 5 WINE & PIE PAIRINGS TO BRING OUT YOUR INNER DECADENT MOFO THIS HOLIDAY SEASON
For me, there are three things that usually come to mind when envisioning the holiday season from a celebratory standpoint: family time, food, and pie.
There are so many articles out there about food and wine pairings this time of year I was a bit hesitant to add to the pile. It all starts to feel a little…. Well…. Jejune, maybe?
Think about it: there’s always the Wine and Candy pairings article during Halloween — yes, I’m guilty of doing this, but it was really just an excuse to use gifs from Mean Girls in a post and write an email for my subscribers with the subject line reading: “I’m A Mouse, Duh.” Then there’s the ubiquitous Thanksgiving food pairings article, which I haven’t done yet, but if you want it — hit a girl up.
Anyways, since the holidays are about food-related hedonism, I figured why not do a post on something that would apply to all winter holidays across the board. Which is why pie came to mind.
As a dessert, pie always gets shafted. I remember one time when I was a kid, I asked my mom to make a pie instead of order cake for my birthday and the girls at the party - true story - were so pissed about it they refused to sing Happy Birthday to me one year. I don’t mean to be a downer, but I seriously have no idea what it is about pie that genuinely pisses people off so much (to the point where some of them act like entitled twats.)
Seriously though, pie is friggin’ delicious. Flaky golden crust, fruity filling, seriously — what’s not to love? It’s not nearly as cloying and sweet as cake which to me just feels like consuming empty calories. Pie at least has fruit… So there’s some nutritional value (?) Anyway, for all you pie-lovers out there: I see you. So let’s get this show on the road and chat all things wine and pie.
PAIRING ONE: APPLE PIE & ALSATIAN GEWÜRTZTRAMINER
As American as…. wtf? Yes, America’s favorite dessert - Apple Pie’s - wine version of a soulmate happens to hail from the alpine region of Alsace, France. Gewürztraminer, or gewürtz for short (you could even try calling it g-money if you want to) is the ultimate Apple Pie wine. Gewurtztraminer is an enormously aromatic wine that has one of the craziest noses around! In this situation, pay attention to the baking spice aromas. Picture the scent of Christmas cookie wafting through the air and enough Pumpkin Spice to make every basic betch lose her friggin’ mind. There’s something about this wine that just screams fall, and wildly complicated Gewürtz will emphasize all that cinnamon-y goodness of freshly-baked apple pie. Just trust me on this one.
PAIRING TWO: PECAN PIE & PEDRO XIMENEZ SHERRY (OR BOURBON IF YOU WANNA GO RRREEEAL CRAZY)
Pecan pie is a tricky one to pair. You have the nuts which add an element of bitterness and tannin, coupled with all that brown, sugary, buttery stuff. In short: Pecan Pie has a lot of stuff going on and a lot of heft. It’s definitely one of the densest pies in this post, and it needs a wine (or a fortified wine) with a similar heaviness. I picked Pedro Ximenez Sherry because it’s got a similarly decadent sweetness to that nutty, sugary filling. Pedro Ximenez is also strong enough to stand up to some of those bitter tannins in the nuts. Of course, if you want to level up your pairing I suggest a glass of Bourbon with one rock for some real decadence. That shit is a match made in heaven.
PAIRING THREE: PUMPKIN PIE & VOUVRAY FROM THE LOIRE VALLEY
There are loads of honeyed, buttery, nutty, and cinnamon-y flavors in Pumpkin Pie. Fall’s favorite dessert isn’t overly sweet, and a slightly off-dry Chenin like Vouvray plays well with Pumpkin Pie. Vouvray has loads of honeyed flavors, largely due to Chenin’s propensity to botyrize or get infected with the noble rot. For those not in the know, botrytis is a fungus that dries out grapes like Chenin Blanc or Semillon in Bordeaux and produces sweeter, honeyed dessert wines - like Sauternes. Another great thing about Vouvray is despite its sweetness, there’s still a good amount of acidity, making it the perfect wine to cut through some of Pumpkin Pie’s creamy texture.
PAIRING FOUR: CHERRY PIE & ROSÉ CHAMPAGNE
Quite possibly the sweetest out of all the pies on here, cherry pie is going to demand a wine with plenty of acidity to balance some of that sugariness out. There’s also a lot going on with this pie texturally, considering those juicy berries and all that jammy goodness, coupled with the buttery and flaky crust. You’re also going to want to go with a lighter wine here, like a white or a pink wine because a red wine would just overwhelm this pie in its entirety. Rosé champagne is the ultimate wine pairing for cherry pie because those bubbles are crisp and palate cleansing. The acid structure and floral qualities of a rosé champers will interplay with all that berry goodness without competing too much.
PAIRING FIVE: MINCE PIE & LAMBRUSCO FROM ITALY
When I lived in London I developed an obsession for mince pies. If you have never had one and are judging (as some folks tend to do with mince pies for some reason) DO NOT AT ME. These things are unbelievable pocket-sized treats of happiness actually taste like hope, okay? With all those dried, candied fruit flavors and that sugary, buttery crust, there’s definitely a lot of flavor-related complexity going on in these puppies. Because of this, I’d suggest pairing these with bubbles of some sort. I chose Italian Lambrusco because of its naturally vinous (a fancy word for wine-like) flavors. Lambrusco has loads of red berry flavors going on, coupled with herbal and savory qualities, which will interplay beautifully with all that dried, candied fruit inside.